Being a sheep does have its funny moments

Saw this on amsev 's Lj and had to try it.

I think I love the sardonic sex most, closely followed by "He acts a little solidly, ever since he licked a mirror."

Beautifully Tripping

Lucius tripped along unpleasantly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Hermione, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a starfish hopping along, carrying a bed in its mouth.

Lucius was almost in the flowerpot when he came across an eclectic cake, lying alone on a hefty plate. "That must be a treat from my aristocratic bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked foul, so he ate it.

It gave him the most relaxed tingling sensation in his earlobe. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Hermione.

When Hermione came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Lucius cried deeply.

"Your heel! And your navel!" Hermione said. "They're smart! Can't you feel it?"

Lucius felt his heel and his navel. They were indeed quite smart. "Oh, no!" Lucius said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that eclectic cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Hermione said. "I got you a plate. It must have been that sugary man who lives nearby. He acts a little solidly, ever since he licked a mirror."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Lucius sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Hermione said handsomely, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your heel is really winsome like that."

"Really?" Lucius dried her tears. Lucius kissed Hermione and it was an entirely sardonic sensation, wilted like a seriously dehydrated frog.

They spent the night having entirely sardonic sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.