The Dilemma -- thanks to the wise f-list, and of course the punch line

As it says in the subject line: thanks to all those who commented! 

trickofthedark That's encouraging, thanks. Do I remember correctly, though, that both your cats arrived at your place more or less at the same time, both being "strangers"?

junewilliams7 : You're right of course. Taking Lola in wasn't the most responsible fo decisions, but the problem is, now she *is* there and has to be cared for. As I said, the last thing I want is for Lola to bear the consequences.

So, I've got a phone appointment on Wednesday with my vet in Vienna. Let's see if there's a possibility to introduce the lovely young lady to the two bachelors.
Whether this is possible or not, I'm going to have a rather long talk with Alexandra once she returns, also because

and here's the punch line

Yesterday, shortly after I'd written the dilemma post, I got a text message informing me that she won't be returning before next Monday. Fun, huh? I was so angry I got a tension headache. OTOH, you guys' comments and the message made it clear to me that something has to change. I'm not in the least tired of Lola, but I'm tired of being used, and it's more than just unfair to bank on my unswerving devotion to the little black monster and my sense of responsibility.
Me being me, it takes a rather long time until I reach the point of explosion -- and yes, I really ought to work on that -- but my problem is that I just don't expect people to behave like this. I wouldn't do it, and thus I assume that others won't do it, and that's a big mistake. And a stupid one on top of that. Because things keep accumulating. This, taken all by itself, wouldn't be so bad, and that, if it occurred only once, wouldn't be a problem, but then it's this *and* that, and many other things as well, and suddenly I realize that I've been a yes-saying, all-accepting idiot all the time and practically given the other person carte blanche to do whatever they like. Alexandra doesn't buy dustbin bags, I use my own -- true, they aren't expensive, but it's the principle that's wrong. You have a cat, you need to buy *all* the things needed for cat-care, and in sufficient quantities. I order tinned food, Alexandra gets 35 tins, and one day I lend her 300 Denar (~€ 5). Not only do I have to remind her that she still owes me, she also asks whether € 35 for 35 tins are correct, to which I reply no, it's € 40, plus the 5 I gave you in Denar. What do I get? € 40. And then of course I don't say anything, because even mentioning 5 Euros makes me feel like a penny-pinching arsehole.

/end of rant right here. I'm sure you understand what I mean.

So this is going to be the list of topics to be discussed:
1) Alexandra must plan ahead and tell me when she's going to be here/absent, so she can work out when she needs somebody to replace me in case I'm away myself.
2) Summer plans must be made and discussed by end of May at the latest
3) Lola's food, litter and other paraphernalia (including such things as e.g. dustbin bags) must be taken into consideration -- Alexandra is here often and long enough to buy that stuff (except tinned food, which I order for ze boyz anyway, so I include Lola's in the order and Alexandra gives me the money -- why pay more shipping costs than necessary).
4) Alexandra must understand that caring for Lola means
   - less time for ze boyz
   - totally disrupting my morning routine
   - arriving late at work unless I wake up before the alarm rings (or getting up even earlier, but that's a no-go)
   - not being able to collapse on the couch, if I'm very tired after a long day
   - that these are the advantages of a single, childless life, which I'm buying at some cost to myself -- my decision of course, but that's exactly the point
   - the last, and probably  toughtest, item on the list: you can't be the saviour of cats, if your friend and the cat in question pay the price.

It's not going to be pleasant, but it has to be done. Really.
I just have to be careful not to come across as too patronizing and self-righteous, because that usually doesn't go down well and rather diminishes the effect of such a discussion.
OTOH, neither must I be apologetic. MUST NOT.

Happy Birthday Shiv!!

And once again, with feeling:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, shiv5468  !!!!

Even though it's (as I am wont to say) an irritatingly high but otherwise unspectacular number of years, have a great birthday and a fantastic year to come -- may you triumph over your adversaries, have chocolate whenever you need it, legions of plot bunnies, and most of all fun! Oh, and blonds and oodles of money, but "fun" covers that nicely, doesn't it?