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In hindsight it's positively hilarious
Jun. 13th, 2012 09:36 amAs are most slightly-dramatic, no-harm-done stories. Just as they aren't funny in the least while they're happening, especially to oneself.
Background: we've been having a bit of a problem with our keycard-and-mechanical-key locking system here at the Embassy. The reasons for these troubles are that 1) we're also having problems with the UPS (potent emergency power supply batteries), and 2) due to frequent storms, we've been having more and longer blackouts than usual, which means that the UPS has to take over, which doesn't always work because of 1).
So we bought new UPS on Monday, plugged them in for 24 hrs so they were fully charged, and then exchaged the old ones for the new ones yesterday.
With the surprising result that suddenly one of the circuits was down; according to Sod's Law, it was of course the one feeding the (electronic) locking system.
You must know that we have this (completely superfluous and far from perfect) system where you open the building with a key card, which you then put into the central unit, so you can pull out the mechanical key which unlocks the offices.
You must also know that not all mechanical key lock/unlock *all* offices.
Yesterday, we were one circuit short around 3.30; working hours end at 4. No electrician to be found.
Knowing that maybe the extra battery in the locking system's central unit wasn't going to hold for long, I asked Blerim the driver to give me the extra set of keys for the garage.
Tennis was to start at 5, so I called a taxi shortly after 4.30 and... yeah, that was stupid. Kosta had been the last to leave at 4.15, and the central unit had still been working. In a fit of truly monumental stupidity I inserted my mechanical key into the central unit -- which was dead (not that I had any possibility of making sure whether it was, but still). Key stuck, key card stuck.
Key stuck was especially unpleasant, because if I'd had it, I could simply have left through my office, the front garden and the small garden door. So that way out was barred.
OK, I thought, let's go through the garage and then call the ambassador to tell him that he, too, has to leave that way.
I went down to the garage, inserted the key into the door's remote control and turned it. Nothing happened. I turned it the other way -- same. Was the garage door maybe on the same circuit as the locking system?
Slight panic ensued.
I went upstairs again -- the Ambassador was just leaving. I prevented him from inserting his key into the central unit (that, too, would've got stuck) and asked him to open the inner front door. As it turned out, his key doesn't work for that lock.
There's another door to the front garden from the office next to mine, so we tried that. Got out all right, but then it turned out that his key doesn't work for the outer garden door.
Which meant we were more or less stuck.
The Ambassdor (2m tall, over 150 kg) declared that we could easily climb over the fence.
I refrained from any derogatory comments and merely said that, no, we certainly wouldn't do that. If push came to shove, I'd have to call a locksmith who'd drill open the lock.
The problem was that he was constantly talking, mostly on the subject of fence-climbing.
I wanted to throttle him, I honestly did.
Then I said, OK, let's go down to the garage again. We can open the door manually, even though we're going to get very, very dirty, and the outer sliding door is very low -- we can climb that, if we have to.
Opening the door manually turned out to be impossible; luckily I saw, out of the corner of my eye, that he did some fumbling with the strong wire that runs up the inside of the door (not an electric wire -- it's connected to a chain which, in turn, is moved by a motor, and the whole construction pulls the door upwards)
I went back to the remote, inserted they key and turned it. Oh joy, the motor started to work.
The door, however, didn't budge.
Ambassador said we'd have to call the driver, because he'd know etc.etc.
Is that a good idea, I asked, because 1) he's outside and we're inside, and 2) the problem seems to be mecahnical and in here, with the motor and chain, so what can he possibly do from outside.
He called the driver.
I asked him what exactly he'd done before, when he'd fumbled with the wire, and could he please do the exact opposite?
Nonono that was nothing important.
Humour me, I said, and *just do it*
He did, I started the motor again, and the door opened.
That was the -- happy -- end of that. Come to think of it, I should've let him climb the fence; he would probably have ended up with a spike up his arse, which would at least have been interesting. I've always thought that impaling is a particularly squicky way of killing people.
We had of course left the embassy unprotected -- alarm not activated, nothing but a garage door between the world and the visa stickes and cash.
This morning I woke at 3.45 and thought, "If somebody broke into the Embassy, guess what the ministry would say if they foud out just how easy it was".
Needless to say that I couldn't go back to sleep.
Electrician will arrive shortly, so we'll hopefully be able to fix this awful mess.
In much more positive news: 36.000 words and counting.
Yep, this one is going to be really, really big.
Note to the exchange mods: if you need a pinch hitter, I'm your girl -- my own piece should be finished by the end of June at the latest.
Note to the Brits on my f-list: Would anybody sacrifice themselves and go over the first draft? I'm not asking for a thorough editing, because I always edit my fics by myself and do a pretty good job. What I'd like you to do is:
a) point out any mistakes not-native-speaker-me may have made re. tone and register (like e.g. Severus saying that Lucius's hair is "awesome"), and b) point out any instances of me not mentioing somethig crucial to motivation, plot etc., because I made the, alas, common mistake of assuming that the reader knows as much as I do. Hints re. plot and story line are also welcome but might be disregarded, since I think the story works quite well as it is.
If you want me to be indebted to you forever, please send PM or email to pigwidgeon37@yahoo.it.
Background: we've been having a bit of a problem with our keycard-and-mechanical-key locking system here at the Embassy. The reasons for these troubles are that 1) we're also having problems with the UPS (potent emergency power supply batteries), and 2) due to frequent storms, we've been having more and longer blackouts than usual, which means that the UPS has to take over, which doesn't always work because of 1).
So we bought new UPS on Monday, plugged them in for 24 hrs so they were fully charged, and then exchaged the old ones for the new ones yesterday.
With the surprising result that suddenly one of the circuits was down; according to Sod's Law, it was of course the one feeding the (electronic) locking system.
You must know that we have this (completely superfluous and far from perfect) system where you open the building with a key card, which you then put into the central unit, so you can pull out the mechanical key which unlocks the offices.
You must also know that not all mechanical key lock/unlock *all* offices.
Yesterday, we were one circuit short around 3.30; working hours end at 4. No electrician to be found.
Knowing that maybe the extra battery in the locking system's central unit wasn't going to hold for long, I asked Blerim the driver to give me the extra set of keys for the garage.
Tennis was to start at 5, so I called a taxi shortly after 4.30 and... yeah, that was stupid. Kosta had been the last to leave at 4.15, and the central unit had still been working. In a fit of truly monumental stupidity I inserted my mechanical key into the central unit -- which was dead (not that I had any possibility of making sure whether it was, but still). Key stuck, key card stuck.
Key stuck was especially unpleasant, because if I'd had it, I could simply have left through my office, the front garden and the small garden door. So that way out was barred.
OK, I thought, let's go through the garage and then call the ambassador to tell him that he, too, has to leave that way.
I went down to the garage, inserted the key into the door's remote control and turned it. Nothing happened. I turned it the other way -- same. Was the garage door maybe on the same circuit as the locking system?
Slight panic ensued.
I went upstairs again -- the Ambassador was just leaving. I prevented him from inserting his key into the central unit (that, too, would've got stuck) and asked him to open the inner front door. As it turned out, his key doesn't work for that lock.
There's another door to the front garden from the office next to mine, so we tried that. Got out all right, but then it turned out that his key doesn't work for the outer garden door.
Which meant we were more or less stuck.
The Ambassdor (2m tall, over 150 kg) declared that we could easily climb over the fence.
I refrained from any derogatory comments and merely said that, no, we certainly wouldn't do that. If push came to shove, I'd have to call a locksmith who'd drill open the lock.
The problem was that he was constantly talking, mostly on the subject of fence-climbing.
I wanted to throttle him, I honestly did.
Then I said, OK, let's go down to the garage again. We can open the door manually, even though we're going to get very, very dirty, and the outer sliding door is very low -- we can climb that, if we have to.
Opening the door manually turned out to be impossible; luckily I saw, out of the corner of my eye, that he did some fumbling with the strong wire that runs up the inside of the door (not an electric wire -- it's connected to a chain which, in turn, is moved by a motor, and the whole construction pulls the door upwards)
I went back to the remote, inserted they key and turned it. Oh joy, the motor started to work.
The door, however, didn't budge.
Ambassador said we'd have to call the driver, because he'd know etc.etc.
Is that a good idea, I asked, because 1) he's outside and we're inside, and 2) the problem seems to be mecahnical and in here, with the motor and chain, so what can he possibly do from outside.
He called the driver.
I asked him what exactly he'd done before, when he'd fumbled with the wire, and could he please do the exact opposite?
Nonono that was nothing important.
Humour me, I said, and *just do it*
He did, I started the motor again, and the door opened.
That was the -- happy -- end of that. Come to think of it, I should've let him climb the fence; he would probably have ended up with a spike up his arse, which would at least have been interesting. I've always thought that impaling is a particularly squicky way of killing people.
We had of course left the embassy unprotected -- alarm not activated, nothing but a garage door between the world and the visa stickes and cash.
This morning I woke at 3.45 and thought, "If somebody broke into the Embassy, guess what the ministry would say if they foud out just how easy it was".
Needless to say that I couldn't go back to sleep.
Electrician will arrive shortly, so we'll hopefully be able to fix this awful mess.
In much more positive news: 36.000 words and counting.
Yep, this one is going to be really, really big.
Note to the exchange mods: if you need a pinch hitter, I'm your girl -- my own piece should be finished by the end of June at the latest.
Note to the Brits on my f-list: Would anybody sacrifice themselves and go over the first draft? I'm not asking for a thorough editing, because I always edit my fics by myself and do a pretty good job. What I'd like you to do is:
a) point out any mistakes not-native-speaker-me may have made re. tone and register (like e.g. Severus saying that Lucius's hair is "awesome"), and b) point out any instances of me not mentioing somethig crucial to motivation, plot etc., because I made the, alas, common mistake of assuming that the reader knows as much as I do. Hints re. plot and story line are also welcome but might be disregarded, since I think the story works quite well as it is.
If you want me to be indebted to you forever, please send PM or email to pigwidgeon37@yahoo.it.
