TSO agony

Is there anything more difficult than writing about two people making love? I sincerely doubt it. I don't want it to be smut, there's the purple-prose trap, there's the cliché trap, there's the fluff trap... and, just as the icing on the cake, I have to write it from a man's POV. *tears out strands of hair* Violence and angst are so much easier! Probably because few people have fantasies about the perfect death, but almost everybody fantasizes about the perfect love-making. I swear I'll never again write First Times. Never. It's too nerve-wracking. Either you make it sound like a sex ed textbook or like some third-class bodice ripper. *deep sigh of resignation* OK, back to work. To quote Dumbledore, "I'm not going to come quietly." Good old Albus, I knew he was the vocal type.