Lumione Marriage Law Fic

It's finished - unbetaed as always, but I hope I managed to catch most typos and eliminate plot holes.

Before you start reading (and hopefully reviewing and pimping), let me say that

1) I like HG/LM, though not necessarily while she's 18 and he 43. This is why I turned the whole idea on its head, i.e. the girl chooses the older man, not vice versa.
2) No, I don't think of sex as a panacea or filling material for the cracks in a relationship. It seems to work for Hermione and Lucius, though.
3) I'm not a closet Shacklebolt-hater, mostly because he's as underdeveloped (as a character) in canon as Hestia Jones, Zacharias Smith and many, many others. The story takes place immediately after DH ends (disregarding the epilogue), and so it was very convenient to keep K.S. as minister for magic, without having to invent a complicated backstory for a new minister. He's merely a placeholder, and all the misdeeds he commits are not his fault but mine.
4) The name of Lucius's personal elf-butler has been brazenly ripped from the immortal Lord Peter Wimsey stories by Dorothy L. Sayers.
5) Not enough with that, not one single of the other characters has sprung from my head. They're all JKR's creations. No, stop. Pandora Malfoy is mine, and I love her. There ought to be more mothers-in-law like her.
6) The title of this fic was inspired by the many recipes that start with "First, catch your hare/chicken/mammoth.They're meant to yield excellent results - let's hope that this marriage of crooked minds will be at least as excellent as a really good ragout.
7) The rating is M, I'd say. Sex is never graphic (sorry about that), language is sometimes foul (mostly Hermione's fault), and being gay is mentioned but never in graphic detail.

For those who have a slow internet connection and thus are going to curse me, because I didn't bother with chapter-to-chapter links: The story will be uploaded to ff.net within the next hour, and the link will be supplied right here.
ETA: Here it is: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4709644/1/FIRST_CATCH_YOUR_SLYTHERIN

 

( First, Catch Your Slytherin Part 1 )

First, Catch Your Slytherin, Part 2

 

( Part 2 )

First, Catch Your Slytherin, Part 3

( Part 3 )

First, Catch Your Slytherin, Part 4

( Part 4 )

First, Catch Your Slytherin, Part 5

( Part 5 )

First, Catch Your Slytherin, Part 6

( Part 6 )

First, Catch Your Slytherin, Part 7

( Part 7 )

First, Catch Your Slytherin, Part 8

( Part 8 )

First, Catch Your Slytherin, Part 9

( Part 9 )