Split Crotch, The Epilogue

Thanks, quietselkie , for the suggestion to use the stapler. It worked for the taxi ride home.

So, I'd told the boss on the phone that I was neither coming up to see the Austrian vitor, nor was I to accompany him to the OSCE mission. After visitor had left, boss entered my office, obviously irritated, and asked why I hadn't done as planned.
Me: I'm really sorry, but it wasn't possible.
Boss: What do you mean, not possible? Why? And why didn't you at least come out to say goodbye to him?
Me: *cringe* I, uh, I can't tell you why, but I did have a very good reason, really.
Boss, getting a bit angry: I'm afraid I don't quite understand.
Me, throwing my dignity overboard for the sake of peace: OK, I'll tell you. The crotch seam of my trousers split open.
Boss: o_O
Me: Yes, erm, and I don't want to move too much, in case it unravels even more.
Boss: Oh. Yes, that's, erm, understandable. *giggles*
Me: Thanks for laughing.
At that moment, my coral necklace tears and clatters onto the desk.
Boss: OMG. What's happening to you?
Me: I think we both ought to be glad that I don't have silicone cushions in my tits.
We both start laughing hysterically.
Me: Right, so now I'm going to staple my trousers.
Boss: o_O
Me: Just for the taxi ride home, you know.
Boss: o_O
Me: I'm not stapling them *to*, uh, anything. I'm stapling the seam closed.
Boss: Oh. Yes, of course. *raises brows* I suppose I'll have to leave the room first -- "after you" wouldn't be a good thing for me to say to you today, would it?

I wish more bosses were like that. Anyway, I've got him for now, so that's ok.