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Flame wars, maturity and hypocrisy
Sep. 2nd, 2003 10:36 amGood things first: I'm glad this Fleab business didn't find its way to WIKTT but remained limited to the LJ community and Fleab's group.
Are there more good things? I doubt it.
Once you're grown up, you are expected to handle whichever problem comes your way with maturity.The question is, what exactly does 'maturity' mean, and what does it mean in this particular situation?
I've insulted a person, and her/his work. Calling somebody a 'disgusting little shit' is certainly not the most mature way of expressing my feelings. Definitely my fault. A few people read this post and comment on it, some of them agree, some don't. The insulted party reads it, too (or is told about it by a friend). Unsurprisingly, the insulted person reacts. Who wouldn't?
The insulted person, whom we shall from now on call Fleab, doesn't respond to the insult on my LJ but takes the discussion to her/his own group. As s/he's the group owner, why shouldn't s/he. Fleab then attempts an analysis of my character, which I think isn't entirely successful. Other group members join in, and that's when things start getting a bit out of hand. People who know me even less than Fleab does start throwing insults which go far beyond anything I or the people commenting on my entry ever said.
I'm called pathological.
I'm called a pig.
I'm called (in an admittedly roundabout way) a Nazi.
I'm called silly.
I'm accused of glorifying paedophilia.
Now back to the initial question: what would be a mature way of handling this?
I honestly admit that I've no idea.
Considering that I'm neither pathological, a pig, a Nazi, silly or a partisan of paedophilia, I should probably not even be writing this entry, but raise my chin and roll my eyes and tell myself to just let them be and ignore them. Would that be mature? I suppose many people would answer this question with 'yes'. I'm not really convinced, to say the truth. What I am convinced of, however, is that taking the discussion to even lower levels won't help matters much. Besides, the insults didn't hurt, as they're simply too far from the truth. But it's obvious--because otherwise I wouldn't be writing this entry--that I'm not entirely indifferent to them, either.
Therefore, in the hopes that news about inoffensive LJ entries travels as fast as news about insults, I'm just going to give some answers. If those who read this entry feel compelled to comment, please do so by emailing me privately, so as to avoid further complications.
The question 'Perhaps she's afraid she's a Nazi?' I can wholeheartedly answer with 'no'. I'm not afraid of discovering that I'm a Nazi. Coming from a Jewish family, I don't see any immediate danger of my suddenly turning into an anti-Semite. I suppose you could say that I'm wary, though, constantly questioning my own attitudes.
I'm a victim of child abuse myself--and I'd be very grateful if no comments were made on this--and therefore not likely to glorify paedophilia. TSO has more than one book, and I think that Snape's experience with paedophilia, as represented in Book 1, should sufficiently demonstrate that this accusation is unfounded. Readers have been warned often enough that Book 3 is going in a certain direction. If they continue to read it despite the warnings, I'm not going to take the blame for their decision.
As to being pathological and not knowing my own psychodynamics--I honestly think that's not the case. Of course there's no way of proving these statements wrong, which should be a reason for people to consider whether they ought to utter them in the first place.
Oh, and I almost forgot: I solemnly declare that I'm not a pig. But sometimes I'm exceedingly silly :)
Are there more good things? I doubt it.
Once you're grown up, you are expected to handle whichever problem comes your way with maturity.The question is, what exactly does 'maturity' mean, and what does it mean in this particular situation?
I've insulted a person, and her/his work. Calling somebody a 'disgusting little shit' is certainly not the most mature way of expressing my feelings. Definitely my fault. A few people read this post and comment on it, some of them agree, some don't. The insulted party reads it, too (or is told about it by a friend). Unsurprisingly, the insulted person reacts. Who wouldn't?
The insulted person, whom we shall from now on call Fleab, doesn't respond to the insult on my LJ but takes the discussion to her/his own group. As s/he's the group owner, why shouldn't s/he. Fleab then attempts an analysis of my character, which I think isn't entirely successful. Other group members join in, and that's when things start getting a bit out of hand. People who know me even less than Fleab does start throwing insults which go far beyond anything I or the people commenting on my entry ever said.
I'm called pathological.
I'm called a pig.
I'm called (in an admittedly roundabout way) a Nazi.
I'm called silly.
I'm accused of glorifying paedophilia.
Now back to the initial question: what would be a mature way of handling this?
I honestly admit that I've no idea.
Considering that I'm neither pathological, a pig, a Nazi, silly or a partisan of paedophilia, I should probably not even be writing this entry, but raise my chin and roll my eyes and tell myself to just let them be and ignore them. Would that be mature? I suppose many people would answer this question with 'yes'. I'm not really convinced, to say the truth. What I am convinced of, however, is that taking the discussion to even lower levels won't help matters much. Besides, the insults didn't hurt, as they're simply too far from the truth. But it's obvious--because otherwise I wouldn't be writing this entry--that I'm not entirely indifferent to them, either.
Therefore, in the hopes that news about inoffensive LJ entries travels as fast as news about insults, I'm just going to give some answers. If those who read this entry feel compelled to comment, please do so by emailing me privately, so as to avoid further complications.
The question 'Perhaps she's afraid she's a Nazi?' I can wholeheartedly answer with 'no'. I'm not afraid of discovering that I'm a Nazi. Coming from a Jewish family, I don't see any immediate danger of my suddenly turning into an anti-Semite. I suppose you could say that I'm wary, though, constantly questioning my own attitudes.
I'm a victim of child abuse myself--and I'd be very grateful if no comments were made on this--and therefore not likely to glorify paedophilia. TSO has more than one book, and I think that Snape's experience with paedophilia, as represented in Book 1, should sufficiently demonstrate that this accusation is unfounded. Readers have been warned often enough that Book 3 is going in a certain direction. If they continue to read it despite the warnings, I'm not going to take the blame for their decision.
As to being pathological and not knowing my own psychodynamics--I honestly think that's not the case. Of course there's no way of proving these statements wrong, which should be a reason for people to consider whether they ought to utter them in the first place.
Oh, and I almost forgot: I solemnly declare that I'm not a pig. But sometimes I'm exceedingly silly :)
